can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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