Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
