I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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