how can u be prego again
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
