Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
