I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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