I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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