I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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