i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
