Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My liver just had a heart attack.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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