So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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