I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
