I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize