You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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