eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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