your thong is hanging out like whoa
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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