you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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