Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
