so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
