We're like a lot better than the average bears
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
