Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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