i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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