$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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