Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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