I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
When did angry sex become our thing?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work