It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
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I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.