I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.