Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.