lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.