You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
