Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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