New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
