Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
