I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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