Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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