ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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