I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
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I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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