Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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