Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
