this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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