you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
