I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
