Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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