I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
