I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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