I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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