She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.