Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.