she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.