Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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