So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.