I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
