I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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