I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
