Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
