Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
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I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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