so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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