I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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