Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
tell your sister to shave her snatch
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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