Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I need moral support for this bender
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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