I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
