Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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