i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
